Life sucks? it’s your fault. (sometimes, of course!)

in italianoLa tua vita fa schifo? E’ colpa tua. (bhè, a volte!)

Jump into the unknown. This is what I have just done. I have f%$£$%ing resigned from my current job.Beacuse this is my Life, and mone only!

But lets just step backwards a little.

I have been into jobs I really did not like at all, had run my own company for 5 years and ended up feeling sick just by thinking about it.

I have been in shitty relationships with shitty men.

So yeah, I have had the “whole package” already, more than once. We all have been there once or twice, haven’t we?! I am sure you can relate to this. But I had enough and that was the reason why I left everything behind and decided to move back to London, which is the place I call home.

Landed a great job just after a few days my coming back, actually I had a few job offers and picked this one thinking it was going to be a great new challenge.

Wrong, I was so wrong. Wrong choice, wrong job.

In the mean time, while been in this job I was feeling uncomfortable with, I met 3 guys. Of course not all 3 of them at the same time, I was very much into the first one and things seemed to go quite well, until he went mental for some silly reason and turned out to be totally unstable. As for the other 2, well…. it was going to be more casual, but still I was quite into them. Or at least I found them to be quite entertaining.

Needless to say, all 3 of them ended up to be the wrong guy and I felt shit for a while.

I was doing it again. I was, again, into the wrong shitty job, and once again I was accepting to feel shit about the wrong guy.

I talked to myself. I literally told myself “Ellie, stop complaining about things that you can actually change!“.

And I did.

I was planning to resign in a few weeks time, but then I thought, no, do it now. So on a Monday morning I went to work, attended a meeting we were all supposed to attend, and as soon as the meeting was over I talked to the person in charge and told her I wanted to resign. Oh! That felt so good!

As for the guys…well that bit is definitely a little more complicated, of course, you can not just delete someone from your head by giving them a 2 week notice.  But I decided to concentrate on myself. I thought “Ok Ellie, you want to try and feel better, drop some weight, work on your blog and eBook, do that, try and focus on something else, the right guy is on his way while you will be focusing on some other stuff!”.

And let’s think carefully about it: when the time will come I will be feeling great, stronger than ever, even.

I do realize that it is not easy to do what I am trying to do, I am sure I will go through some ups and downs, I am pretty sure I will do a little bit of crying, but I will get up again and be the fighter I have always been.

There are things in life we accept too easily even when they make us feel miserable. Some times, I believe, we pretend we can’t do much about them, we tell ourselves “oh well, life sucks, what can I do“. Well, stop bullshitting yourself, stop accepting what makes you feel upset and try to do something about it, at least…try.

Often the main reason why we pretend not to see the light at the end of the tunnel, is because we are too scared of the unknown, scared of how things might go.

But what about if everything goes amazingly well?

If you don’t change you will never know. I’m done with regrets. I want to lead the life I want, with what and whom I want in it.

Close your eyes, imagine that job you really want, that man you wish to have in your life or anything else that really makes you happy. How can you get there, how can you achieve all that if you keep yourself stuck with things you don’t really like and that will not allow you to achieve your goals?! Sometime faith plays a big part in our lives, I must admit it, but some other times (more often than what we you think) we ourselves prevent things from happening, good things. We lie to ourselves, tell ourselves that it doesn’t matter what we do we will never get what we want. But…what are you actually doing about it? Are you changing things?!

This long article makes me sound a little bitchy, I know that, but please take it as a wake up call, I just want to encourage you to think about yourself and what you really want in your life…and change things accordingly.

Today is my special day, so no diet and no gym, going to enjoy my fave food and relax!

Ah, by the way, I have a job interview tomorrow morning. Yes, already.

Wish you all good luck, xxx

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